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It's well known that ostriches are the biggest fowl (bird) in the world, but you might be surprised to know they're all the fastest egg-laying animals too, reaching speeds of 75 mph! The ostrich is able to reach these speeds due to it's long
There once was a man who found a shoe, but hidden inside was a piece of poo. He tried it on and to his delight, it fit perfectly it was just right! He hurried home to show his wife, "that's the stinkiest shoe I've ever
There once was a man from Nantucket, who found a syringe in a bucket. It was covered in crud and a bunch of old blood, and he was like meh whatever fuck it.
I once wore a condom made of lace, I tried it in a safe space. But amidst the jerk it didn't quite work, as some cum ended up on my face.
Joel Westman had a wife named Betty. She grew tired of his mustache however, so every evening while he slept she'd take tweezers and pluck just one hair out. One night at a time, one hair at a time, Joel was slowly losing his mustache. But one day
To address this problem we first need to understand the bagel. The bagel, while tasty, has a fundamental flaw; a big gaping hole in the center. One could argue that egg salad isn't the only food filling suceptible to falling through this crator. So why the hole? (And
As Christmas Eve fell upon the sleepy town of Dodgetown, all it's residents gathered at the local church. Pastor Blanton had a long-standing tradition of giving his sermon past midnight, and into the wee hours of the morning so that Billy McDoogle, the jolly town drunk, had time
Once upon a time a on a family farm just east of Omaha Nebraska, The Stephenson's sat around a campfire as they did each Sunday evening. Rain or shine, this was their longstanding tradition. They'd tell stories, talk about their week, and pray for one another&
One wintery evening as the Patterson family went to bed, little Bridgette lay awake eating popcorn, and pondering all the wonders of life - her loving family, the leaves blowing in the wind, the vast oceans. There wasn't one thing she could think of that wasn't
The sky was blue and the sun was out, a beautiful morning without a doubt. A stroll around the neighborhood, a fresh breeze and cedar wood. I passed a house and what did I see? A figure in the window looking at me. But a normal person it was not,
There once was a campfire at night, but something felt not quite right. As smoke tendrils rose up the owls nose, the forest got a bit too bright.
There he stood, the man with one leg, The other looked like it was built in a shed. A pirate? Shark attack? Farm Accident? Or cannibals while missionizing the dark continent? Yet there he stood tall, proud and bold, His wooden leg polished, varnished and gold. Impressed by his demeanor
Season 2
Once upon a time, atop a mountain far away, there lived a great king who oversaw all the lands. The king had anything and everything he could possibly dream of, including Crohn's Disease (which he wished he'd never dreamt about). One crisp autumn day while picking
Season 2
There was once an old goose from West Keet, who was born without any feet. He tried to fly so he wouldn't die, but a car ran him down in the street.
Season 2
The air was crisp as the sun began it's retreat. Kids were finishing up with their last minute costume touch ups as parents readied candies by the door. Timmy Marks was a ghost this year, and excited to crush his personal record of 121 treats collected. "Put
Season 2
Little Lucy was so excited to go to bed, for tomorrow was going to be the best day ever! Just one more sleep until her 8th birthday! The dining room already decorated with pink balloons and purple streamers. The table set with polka dot plates and matching napkins. Waffles and
Season 2
Once upon a time, tucked deep into the forest, there lived a little chipmunk named Chippy. Chippy was a very happy chipmunk, nothing could get him feeling down. Even during the autumn acorn crisis of 2018, where no chipmunks could find any acorns, Chippy remained optimistic. He had a smile
Season 2
Once upon a time there was a girl who found a delicious looking red apple. It was the most wonderful apple she'd ever seen. Never could anyone imagine such an apple, she certainly couldn't. But then it sexually assualted her. It raped her in the afternoon.